by T Dub Jackson
If you're in the scene wherein your spouse is cheating on you, you wish that it is just a bad dream, and that it will all be gone once you wake up. You wish there was a simple way to stop your spouse from cheating right away, but you can't figure it out. You wish you know how to make sure your spouse doesn't cheat again.
It is probably going to be very hard to hear but the potential good you'll gain from the process is so very much worth the pain you'll experience by asking. Learn what she needs and what you can give her in the future to keep her at home. She has needs that need to be filled if she's going to be happy in the relationship for any length of time.
Make sure her needs are getting met and she'll stay by your side for the long haul. More importantly, she'll be happy to be by your side. If she's happy she'll be much more inclined to make you happy.
But how does this help you stop them from cheating?
o Find out what she needed that the other man was able to give her. It is probably going to be very hard to hear but result is worth it. Make sure that she's as happy as possible with your relationship. Instead of thinking, "I want to keep her from cheating" try thinking, "I want to make her incredibly happy" instead. Ask them to stop cheating but be wary of issuing ultimatums. Those don't work well at a time like this and there are problems in the relationship that will need to be worked out. Save your demands for the really important issues in the marriage.
o When she asks you how she looks, don't tell her she always looks nice or grunt something that sounds like "you look OK." Flatter her and make her feel that she and how she feels about herself are important to you. Notice if she's gotten a haircut, is wearing a new outfit, or takes extra care to look nice for you. Pay attention and provide compliments. One of the biggest complaints that couples have is that there's no time together. Spend time with her and her alone.
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